Osmera Family

Sunday

2010-10-03T21:19:00.000-06:00

Sunday night, slowing down, eating dark chile chocolate, and conversing with Todd. Tonight is a good night. So much on my mind. It seems since I have been down from surgery (last Thursday the 23rd) I have had a lot of time to reflect and brainstorm. I have decided that, although my body has been resting, my brain is in hyper-mode. I have come up many (seriously) financial opportunities that could help us meet our goal of living comfortably, working more consciously with nature, finally being able to stay at home with the kiddos, and being happy. Now I just need to get off my bum and get going.

It's amazing how much fear goes along with taking not only financial risks, but career risks as well. I truly love being a paramedic, but have always known that this is not the end all, be all for me. I have learned so much about humankind, empathy, loss, medicine... It has been wonderful and has helped me to become so much more well rounded in life. I just feel that I am ready to take it to the next level. What does this mean? Well, first I have to make a really long list, prioritize it, and get started. No Fear! I need to keep telling myself that. Todd and I have had some wonderful "brain storming" sessions this last week. I'm ready to keep that momentum rolling. I honestly can say, that when Todd and I are strong in our marriage, anything seems possible to me. I am so grateful to him for being such a strong support and grounding partner in my life.

Yesterday was the Michaelmas Festival at the Waldorf School. Sophia bobbed for apples for the first time and loved it! Here are a few pics from the day, starting with making double chocolate brownies to bring to the pot luck!...

No, we didn't make him bob for it...

Caleb and it #1 favorite toy...

The girls, kicken' it in the hammock in the Farm House school yard...

The boys, playing hard and resting hard on the trampoline, after a long day...

Thanks Gran! We love the puzzle, our own special books, and the new clothes!

Thanks Nana for the butterfly card, it's sooooo pretty!

Thanks Auntie Barbara for our very own cuddle blankets. They are so soft and cuddly. Caleb wouldn't stop laying his head on the blanket... Even before he even had the whole thing unwrapped. Perfect!

I can't believe I'm showing you all this picture of me... But I have to. Sophia loves being doctor and fixing up everyone she can: her doll, her animals... Even her mama just hours after surgery. She even has the booties to match!

And for the grand finale... Caleb and his first steps!!!!!

Yeah! Sweet dreams!

September

2010-09-22T19:48:00.001-06:00

Wow, I am really not on the ball at all with publishing regular posts. FaceBook has killed the blogger in me... What can I say! (Not that I ever was really on top of posting regularly. Guess I just want to justify it.)

Seriously... All is really well in Pagosa Town. We are settling into our new house now, finally. This move has been especially challenging for me. Those of you who know... Probably say I should be used to moving. Not so. We lived in our last house for 5 years, longer than I have ever lived anywhere! Additionally that was where I birthed my two beautiful children, where I learned to be a wife, and where I tackled life challenges that were truly benchmarks for me. I guess you could say I grew up in that house.

So leaving it has been sentimental and nostalgic, but also bittersweet in a way, since this is a step in a new and exciting direction for us. We moved into a small two story victorian/farmhouse style house. It is actually on the Historic Registry since it was built in 1906! Yes, it is over 100 years old! And the spiders have been standing strong against our encroachment! So it has had it's challenges to say the least, but I truly believe you can make any place your home with a few special touches and the laughter of children. They love it so that is really all that matters. Sophia has the master (how did that happen?) so her room is just magical! And Caleb is in a cozy little nook of a room, perfect for him. Todd and I are still trying to figure out where to put all of our stuff, due to the lack of closet space and slanted ceilings, but thanks to portable adjustable shelving, we are definitely managing!

Outside is a whole different story from what we are used to, as we have moved to the South Side! I swear we live on the busiest corner in town. Diesel trucks, school busses, work trucks, dog walkers, police cars, mariachi music, hoots and hollers, non-stop high school kids, and probably whatever else you could imagine! I have to admit, albeit the difference from before, I kind of like it. It's actually sort of cozy. At least it's alive down here! And there is so much noise that you don't even hear the dogs barking! (Unlike the crazy neighbors... Oops, I mean pit-bulls, that lived next door at the last house.) No, we are all getting used to it rapidly, and we even have friends drop by regularly now, usually one to two per day. We definitely feel more involved and not so isolated. And like I said, working toward the bigger picture of actually, really, seriously, no more joking around, I swear, moving!

Here are some pics from this summer... Enjoy.

Grand Canyon hike with the girls this May (have I really not posted since then?). We did a 4 day 3 night loop hike down the Hermit Trail and up the Boucher Trail. It was wonderful, truly one of my absolute favorite places on earth.

Jeanine showing off her war wounds after just day one...

Mornings in the Canyon...

Collard lizard, these things are all over down there, and pretty big too. Tail to nose about two feet!

This was my second time on this hike... Last time was with Todd over Thanksgiving in 2005. Can't wait to get the kiddos there.

This picture is crazy. Jeanine and Ashley are gazing across at the Hermit Trail as we decended down into the Canyon. You can just make out the tine zig zag line of a trail. I made the pic bigger so you can try to see the trail... That was the first day. We started from the ridge up on the right and ended up down at the river on the left. 13 miles straight down if I remember correctly. That about did my legs in. I swear, with really steep trails it is so much easier going down than coming up!

This was hilarious! Posted at the top of the trail.

June pics...

Such a little poser. You can see his forehead scar from his first ER visit when Sophia dumped him (by accident I hope) out of his stroller one day when I was at work. Poor little guy... Didn't know what hit him... Or what he hit (a bunch of rocks)!

Eating Gabe's harmonica and wearing my favorite shirt!

Seriously... This is a nest of thousands of little Daddy Longlegs. Blahhhhh!

July... Todd took these of the full moon from our last house. Beautiful!

4th of July...

I certainly don't remember it being like this on the Space Shuttle ride...

Misc July...

Sophia and Nana, each with their best poses...

Caleb practicing his walking. He is sooooo close. It will be a true celebration for all of us when he finally takes that first step.

We were inspired at work this day, what can I say. Gotta keep it light.

Or not...

Todd's 20th reunion, Torrington, WY. Three days of celebrating, golfing, and picnicking... I wish I could have gone with him. I'm contemplating going to mine next year, but need more convincing still...

Gotta love those WY grasslands...

I think this is the house Todd grew up in in Torrington. Todd correct me if I'm wrong. Too cool.

Todd camped while he was in Torrington. He awoke one night with the local volunteer Fire Department doing propane fire training in the middle of the night! Imagine waking up to that in the middle of your dreams!

Sophia's first swimming lessions. She did awesome. No fear at all, and she listened to every word the instructor said. It was so fun to watch. She learned to float on her back, blow bubbles, and even jump off the side!

August... Caleb, a true Nebraskan!

Gran's visit! We miss you Gran, come back soon!

Hiking to Piedra Hot Springs one day that I was at work. They had a blast...

Ache it was steep!

The hot springs...

Dennis, this pic is for you... This is an old historic church next to our post office. You can actually see the original hitching posts on the left! Pretty cool.

September... Sophia is decided she LOVES to climb trees. Here she is in one of our Aspen trees. So pretty!

Sophia standing at attention to show off her first skid mark!

Sophia's 4th B-Day... Such a beautiful and magical day. She loved and really cherished every moment. Nothing hectic about it, just a ton of fun... Here is her cake. Strawberry, strawberry, and more strawberries! It was delicious!

Eggs and toast before all the sugar starts!

So methodical with opening all her presents. I truly believe it's not just about the gift for her, but the whole process. She is so sweet about it.

A beautiful wooden "fall" faire from Papa.

New rain gear from Nana and Grandpa...

Now she has her very own robe. I swear she does not want to take this off. The other night she insisted on sleeping in it, and awoke a couple of hours later dripping with sweat. She still didn't want to take it off. Oh well, can't always get what you want. Sometimes Mama knows best!

Playing on the trampoline with Jade, Chelsea, Kaia, and Carre...

Everyone making their felted soap bars. What a hoot...

Sophia, Jade, and Kaia...

Chelsea...

Poor Emma. She was slightly sick so she spent the party outside. At least she enjoyed making the felted soap. Such a trooper...

Kaia on the tramp...

Sophia and Nana reading her new book: Sleeping Beauty...

Look how mesmerized everyone is. Cake, cake, CAKE!

New art materials... Yeah!

Cake approved!

Her new fairy wand from Jade and Kaia... She spent a long time decorating and painting it just perfectly.

And the soap bars worked!

Bedtime snack at the end of a wonderful birthday day...

Whew, I really need to post more often. Dare I commit to once a week? We'll see. Adios amigos! Buenos Dias!

Crawling!

2010-04-11T12:03:00.010-06:00

OK, I know he is 15 months, and most kiddos are running by this time... But Caleb has been taking his time. What can I say, he is just a cuddle guy and enjoys taking his time. At least until now... Here is a video from two days ago. You can see that he is still testing out his "crawling legs". But he is soooo excited about it. He totally cracks himself up as he cruises along. In just two days he has completely perfected it and now he is just trucking right along. He has been doing the "army crawl" for the past 4-5 months and honeslty I don't think he realyzed he had other options. But now the game is on, and I woulnd't be surprised if he is walking soon. Now that he knows there are easier ways to get around you can just see his mind working. He is now looking for and reaching for toys that are up on higher pieces of furniture, whereas before he really only took in the toys that were on the ground. It is so cool to see how rapidly his little mind and brain are developing. He us such a joy, we are all totally infatuated with him. (If the video doesn't play at first, check back... Eventually you will be able to see it.)

Here are a few pics I am in love with from March and April. Still snow but melting fast, thank god!

The Three Amigos... This pic cracks me up.

Remember when snow was the most wonderful thing you ever saw?

Except when you have Fire Command for the weekend and you keep having to shovel off the snow from the truck so you can make a fast gettaway!

What am I saying?! It's totally worth it...

This rock just decided it did not want to stay up on the hill on Yellow Jacket Pass any longer. They had to shut down the hwy for a few hours so they could blow it up and remove it. I had just passed by earlier right there in the ambulance. Imagine! The rock is taking up the two westbound lanes!

The Easter Bunny left us quite a few treasures this year. Sophia had so much fun she could hardly contain herself. My good friend from high school Jill and her daughter Ellie were here to visit for the week so we were all able to share in the Easter festivities together. I haven't seen Jill in 18 years and it felt like it had only been two weeks. Gotta love Face Book! It was wonderful to spend time with her. Jeanine hung with us a few times during the week and it was great to reminisce. Yeah it's true, we were all pretty crazy back then. Thank god we have all matured and are now active, smart, and contributing members of society! (He-He!)

Sophia with all the eggs we painted and left for the Easter Bunny to hide...

The Easter Bunny was pretty innovative in hiding the eggs... But the girls didn't miss one!

I'm am truly realizing that life is not about the final outcome, or even the goal... But the process. The little things we do and experience each day. How we choose to live, and to love. Todd keeps reminding me to not be in resistance to what is. Bless him.

Still snowing...

2010-02-28T22:18:00.006-07:00

Still snowing. Ugh, feels like it's never going to end. Todd and I spent three hours last night until midnight looking at pop-up trailers on the internet. Does that tell you how tired of winter we are? At EMS tonight, just got back from a head injury call at the ski area, (well, OK, a couple of hours ago), and now starting to think about bed. I really hope tonight is quiet, need the sleep. I was just perusing my pics and videos and came across these ones. Hope they make you smile like they just did me... (:

Have a great night!

In Honor of Valentine's Day... Mi Amores

2010-02-13T19:34:00.011-07:00

Wow... it seems like I haven't posted in forever. This has been a rough winter as far as sickness and time goes. It seems like at least one of us has been sick all season so far. And... Still... Snowing! I will definitely get some winter pics up soon.

This post is a little late for Valentine's Day, but I wanted to post some pics on honor of the Holiday. I am so blessed to be married to the most amazing, wonderful, supportive, handsome, and fun husband. Todd I love you tons and tons!

Here are some pics of us from the beginning...

Our first date, 05

Todd's graduation day. Happy geologist!

Spring 2005...

Climbing at East Animas, Durango...

Flooding of the San Juan. You can kind of see the hot springs across the river. I actually saw one of my friends surfing here on an actual ocean surf board...

Awe...

He even helped out and allowed me to moulage him up for an EMT class scenario. Looks pretty real. He actually surprised my mom looking like this. Needless to say she wasn't happy about the joke...

Wedding week, 2005

Wedding out at East Fork. July 2, 2005. We thought we found the perfect place (actually it was), and then, the day of the wedding, as all the guests were walking down to the river, the property owner happened to show up and assure us that no, actually, this pristine part of the wilderness was NOT Forest Service property, but actually private property. Oops! She was kind enough to let us continue w/ the plans of the day... Thank God! It was a beautiful place though.

Honeymoon, 3 weeks on the John Muir Trail...

Mt. Whitney summit at the end of the trail...

Hiking the Hermit - Boucher trail loop in the Grand Canyon, Thanksgiving, 05

Fall 05, out to dinner at Isabel's Restaurant...

Christmas 05, pregnant but did not know it yet!

CA trip to visit Aunt Barbara and cousins Jean, Melissa, and Wess, Jan 06

Oh how I miss Stinson Beach...

Diego as a puppy. OMG he was cute. Here we are 5 months pregnant and hanging in Billings Montana, camping while Todd attends a geologist conference.

This pic cracks me up... What are we doing???

Sophia a couple of days old...

Someone is not happy w/ the smooches...

Hiking in Pagosa, summer 07

2008...

Nov 08, Caleb sucking his thumb, 8 months pregnant, double checking to make sure I didn't have placenta previa...

Minutes before I went into labor w/ Caleb, 1/15/09, about 7:45 p.m. Sophia snapped this one un-prompted. 14 hrs later our little bundle of love arrived, at home, healthy and happy.

Couple of days old. I can't tell who is more tired...

Christmas time 09. Our two munchkins...

So there you have it. Mi Amores... Forever.

Funny, I realized as I was uploading these pics that as soon as the kiddos came, the focus of my picture taking definitely changed. Now I need to find more balance and take some recent ones of Todd and I.

I have a truly amazing family.

Fall 09

2009-11-13T15:20:00.019-07:00

I know I know I know... I have totally slacked on getting posts out lately. No really good excuse so I'm not even going to give any. So... here are a ton of pictures to get you all updated (and a few fun videos at the end), and I'll save the writing and all my thoughts on life for the next post. But don't worry, all is well here, actually great. No H1N1 (or what we like to call the "hinnie" flu at work) invading our family so we are all very happy so far. Needless to say non of us got the vaccination, much to the dismay of my employer, but hey, never was one to follow the normal trending pattern. Hope all of you are healthy and in the same boat.

Sophia's B-Day. Yes she got her very own trampoline! Definitely a hit, not to mention a great workout for ALL of us. I did some research and found that you burn the same amount of calories jumping as you do going for a run. Pretty cool.

One hard jumping little girl. She pretty much jumped until she was ready to pass out. Great way to get her ready for her nap...

We all had fun watching her...

Todd's B-Day...

Best friends, ever since forever!

My little Chunky Monkey...

Some of my new favorite pictures...

This was at one of my co-worker's house. I went to help him vaccinate his horses and he let Sophia ride. She loved it!

Sophia takes her camera everywhere and never misses an opportunity to snap a pic. She even records all the events at the local grocery. This pic cracks me up.

This time of year is so beautiful here. It never ceases to amaze me how truly spectacular Pagosa is.

Sophia decided she was going to work at EMS with me. She figured if she wore my boots she was a "shoe in" to work on the ambulance...

We went to Sutherland Farms in Aztec, NM, to get our pumpkins this year. It was one of our last warm days. And yes, Sophia is milking a purple cow... and having a blast!

Sushi and Bikes

2009-08-31T12:35:00.007-06:00

Our little girl is growing up fast. Who would have guessed she would be riding a big girl bike before she was three!? (And what a cool bike too!) We are actually thinking of taking her down to the soccer field, removing the training wheels, and let her rip! We'll see.

Neighborhood scrappers!

Sushi, what?, being eaten by a two year old?! Whoever heard of such a thing! I had to share the experience. She actually ate them all but I had to stop taking pics so I could indulge as well. Sushi, what can I say...

First Solids!

2009-08-14T20:09:00.006-06:00

Today was the big day. A little sweet potato and a lot of laughs.

Looks pretty gross, but very tasty.

What in the world is this all about! What am I supposed to Do with it?

Hmmm, very interesting...

I don't know if I should be eating this considering it looks like something else I am very familiar with.

Seriously, look at this, it totally looks like... well, you know!

How does this spoon thing work?

I could get used to this... More please!

Sat night

2009-08-08T20:26:00.005-06:00

Sitting at EMS again! Yes, I know it seems like I'm here a lot. Actually I only have 6 shifts this months it's just the only time I have to do some computer work. Funny that I come to work to rest and catch up. Although it's totally hit or miss. Lately it's been pretty busy at work...a bunch of crazy calls. I just ran on an 11 year old boy that was bull riding (yes, 11 years old!), got his hand caught, and was dragged and trampled by the bull for approx 45 sec! He escaped with only a tib/fib fracture of his right leg, but the worst part was his family kept saying, "Cum on, coyboy up! Walk it off"! Meanwhile his poor leg was just totally flopping. I could have screamed at his dad. The kid was so sweet too, and brave! I have seen breaks way less severe than that with adults and they are yelling their heads off. Even with all his pain he asked me if I was going to give him a shot. Then, after he had some pain meds on board, he asked me if I was going to cut open his leg in the ambulance to fix it! I just wanted to take him in my arms and hug and hug and hug him. It's so crazy what I do, I never cease to be amazed!

Totally blurry pic but I had to put this in. Just downloaded this off of Todd's phone. It was taken exactly 2 weeks before Caleb was born. I don't look preggo in my bunker gear, just really fat! I love it!

Caleb is doing awesome! Had to put in this comparrison...

That pic still makes me cringe. He went through so much at such a young age and now, well, basically you can't stop him from smiling. He totally melts my heart.

New table centerpiece...

Cooper totally rules the roost at the house. Poor Diego isn't even allowed on his huge dog bed half the time. He here is on Diego's bed (yes, I KNOW I have to wash it) playing inconspicuous.

Caleb's new shirt, the original poster!

A day in the life of Pagosa...gotta love it.

Todd's perfect pancake...He was very proud of this one!

My cousins Melissa and Wes...don't kill me Mel, I love this picture, and it's harder than pulling teeth and nails to get you to post a pic of you!

My dearly missed friend Kerry and her Little Red Farm House where she teaches and sings to a group of very lucky children! Love you Kerry!

Going to the hot spring tomorrow. Sophia can now touch in the shallow end so all she does now is jump up and down in the water. Gotta get her that trampoline!

New Car!

2009-07-21T13:58:00.003-06:00

Sorry, no pics yet, but Todd is driving it home from Denver as I write this. 2005, sage blue/green mint condition, with 36K miles! The best part is that it is paid in full! Never owned a "nice" vehicle that was paid off. Kind of feels like I have graduated to a certain level of "grown-upness". Sure we have had to take a few hits to become debt free but it feels like the clouds have cleared! Now we will be able to put some $ away to move with when Todd gets his epic job in Calie. Honestly though, don't know when that will happen what with the whole state being diseased with debt. I heard that people were even paying their utility bills with IOUs! It's a scary prospect to pick up and leave a stable job, stable income, and stable health insurance to go to an area in such disarray. Todd has been diligently pounding away with resume submittals, follow-ups, and the like, with no luck so far. I just have to have faith that, although I have such an urgency around getting to the west, that everything is happening just as, and when, it is supposed to. I look back on when we were trying to move to Austin and at the time it felt so right and we were SURE that was where we were supposed to be. No job panned out, we switched focus, and now Austin doesn't feel right at all. Too hot...too isolated...too many scary crawling critters! But one year ago you couldn't have convinced me for nothing that California would be a good place to move the family to.

Haven't blogged in a while so here are some pics from July:

The 4th...Sophia had so much fun. She still talks about the ferris wheel just about daily. But her favorite is definitely the bounce house. I have never known a child that loved jumping so much. She jumps on her bed, on our bed, on the couch, on the dog bed, in the grass, even on our concrete floors! We are going to try to pull it off and get one of those big trampolines for her birthday. Not only will she and Caleb be able to use it for years, but they are great for exercising for adults as well! Plus look how much fun we would all have.

At the parade with my good friend "Skirt" the clown. She is actually a firefighter clown but here she is sporting her nursing outfit. I thought Sophia would be freaked out by the clown but she totally dug it! She kept saying "My like her."

So cute...the little one was so little that it didn't even need a bridle. At the end of the parade he was so tired that a little girl was actually carrying it! Ha!

A true Nebraskan at heart. She was actually eating this corn raw then sneaking the half eaten cobs back into the bag!

This was pretty cool. Sophia took this picture and was able to catch this butterfly...

The arm belongs to Caleb...it took me a while to realize that!

Sophia and the neighbor kids playing in the sprinkler...love the dimpled buns!

...and the boots!

Yeah...first teeth. I think he is already teething again too. Not sure where they are coming in but they are definitely coming.

Imagine waking up to those eyes!

On our way to Grand Junction. Sophia got a total kick out of the binoculars.

Passing the Mercy Regional Hospital in Durango. This is where I bring my critical patients in the ambulance (one hour away from Pagosa).

Eating lunch in Ouray...Sophia is starting to become quite a photographer. She took these two great pics...

Off to hang with the family on Sunday. We are going to the pool today!

Bored at EMS

2009-06-17T19:32:00.007-06:00

Sitting at work. Bored. Cleaned and did busy work all day. Landscaped, organized an office for the EMT Association, organized the EMS training "stuff", cleaned the EMS "living area". Wow, exciting! No calls. I guess that's good for the community, but boring for me. Hopefully I'll have a quiet night (off at 8:00 am). Lately it seems like the days are quiet and the nights have been really busy. That's summer for ya.

Todd sent me this pic from his phone this morning as he was getting ready to take the kiddos on a hike. Soooo cute! He's ready to go.

Granny Osmera sent these the other day! Hilarious! She's a hoot. I think I'm going to make these into greeting cards and make mil! I see where Todd gets his kookie sense of humor.

Sophia is such a great big sister. This is a new foot bridge that was just built over our town river, the San Juan.

Awe...Caleb lying on a blanket that I knitted for him.

Todd was in Denver the last two weeks doing a national conference for geologists. He decided to camp, get up early in the mornings, put on a suit, and do the business thing. Pretty cool.

Sophia in the backyard, helping Papa get make sure the tent was good to go...

She was totally into the whole camping thing. Can't wait to get her and Caleb out. We plan on doing our first family camping trip sooner than later.

Todd's camp...yeah, it rained on him quite a few days...

He saw this shirt with one of the conference venders. They didn't have one in my size so bummer, I didn't get one. I love it. Have to try to find one.

Dinosaur eggs in a nest, cool! You could buy an egg for $50 to $100 depending on the quality. I would have thought they would be much more.

Todd took this pic while in one of his lectures. Said he couldn't resist...

Misc pics...

Caleb in his carrier. I love this pic!

No, this was not staged! She actually asks for a magazine now. Wonder who she learned that from?

Sill no calls. Guess I'll get some rest while I can since it's 9:00 pm. Post again soon...

Springtime in Pagosa

2009-05-13T10:45:00.015-06:00

OK, I know I haven't posted in way too long and for that I'm sorry. I have just been caught up in the daily rhythm of life and computer time has definitely been on the back burner. Everything is very well here and we are all finally enjoying the this absolutely beautiful time in Pagosa. It reminds me of the lyrics in John Denver's Annie's Song, "Like spring in the mountains". Corny I know but spring here is just breathtaking with everything turing green, flowers blooming, snow still on the mountains, rivers roaring, and birds singing just for the fun of it.

Caleb is doing awesome! His personality is really starting to come out and he is smiling all the time. He is almost four months now and although it's been a challenging start for us, these last few weeks are making up for all of it. I am so blessed to have such beautiful children!

This picture was taken about one month ago and he has grown so much since then that he barely fits in this car seat anymore. As of yesterday he is 17 pounds! (And not even four months yet.)

The artist at work with her true colors...

Like father, like daughter. It still amazes me how much those two are alike.

Grandma and Pops Osmera arrived a few days after Ben was here and it was so great to be able to spend time with them. Sophia had soooo much fun and still talks about their visit to this day. I hate that our whole family lives all over the US. It makes me truly appreciate the "get togethers".

Grandma brought some bulbs for Sophia to plant. She watered them and watched them grow into the most amazing flowers...

One month later...

Dinner at my folk's house. Quite a spread! This picture cracks me up...

Easter. Sophia had a blast looking for the eggs that the Easter Bunny left. She was in awe as Todd showed her the tracks and paw prints that the Easter Bunny left behind. (It WAS very muddy outside.) The Easter Bunny very graciously let me knit and felt the baskets.

Sophia's first camping trip. Todd took her to Orvis Hot Springs in the breathtaking town of Ouray, CO. I can't wait to get out myself. We plan on taking the whole family camping hopefully quite a few times this summer as soon as it gets warmer at night. I've really missed camping these last two years so we are just going to figure out a way to make it happen this summer, even with Caleb being this young. Should be exciting (or interesting) to say the least!

Here she is decked out and ready to go...

She even got her lamb all ready to go as well, watch and everything!

Hope this finds everyone having a great day!

Pictures

2009-03-25T07:22:00.005-06:00

Here are a few pictures from the last few days. Have a wonderful day!

A dear friend knitted Sophia this jacket! She loves it and looks so cute in it too.

Check out the ball and follow through. She's got quite an arm on her!

Sophia helping me make an interesting concoction: blackberry, walnut, orange, banana bread. I couldn't try it due to it having dairy but she thought it was delicious, and fun too!

Caleb is still doing great. No fevers, rashes, or stomach aches! Yeah!

A little blurry but still pretty cute.

Yahoo. Ha ha ha...

OK, I'm totally on love with my children!

Ben and Sophia. See what I mean about new boyfriend?

Looking forward to Grandma and Pops coming on Thursday. (Todd's parents.)

Back at home

2009-03-23T09:03:00.002-06:00

I feel bad for not getting a post out sooner. My intention was not to worry anyone, just got caught up in the momentum of being back at home. Also, Todd had to leave for Denver for a business meeting as soon as we left the hospital so it took me a little while to get settled back into our routine.

We were discharged from the hospital on Wed afternoon after the cardiologist examined Caleb. He wasn't in the least concerned about his O2 sats lowering at different times. He said that it is completely normal for that to happen occasionally. I do know that at our altitude our sats have a tendency to be lower then if we lived at sea level but his were dropping into the low 80's pretty regularly. (You really want them to be 92 or higher.) I still felt that Caleb was fine though. HE looked and was acting fine. Even though the machines we saying otherwise. It has always amazed me over the years in my profession how people have the tendency to watch the machines more than the patient. I have seen it on the ambulance regularly and I see it at the doctor's office and the hospital as well. I kept wanting to take the nurses heads and manually turning them to look at Caleb. When I'm training and working with an EMT they will actually get into trouble if they don't learn how to read a patient and be able to be completely proficient with using their hands, eyes and ears. All the machines are wonderful but they are just tools, not the end all, be all. So it was frustrating for me while in the NICU (supposedly the best for pediatric care) for the nurses to hardly ever look at Caleb himself.

I digress. Basically Caleb had no physical signs of being oxygen deprived so I was completely fine with taking him home. And he was fine with it as well! His rash and fever had completely resolved and he was nursing great. What was the final diagnosis? Good question. Once again no-one was really sure what kind of virus he had. On one hand I feel horrible for putting him through so many invasive procedures, IV antibiotics, and the works, but on the other hand it was better to be safe then sorry. A meningitis scare or funky virus is no fun. I hope we are done with all this for a very long time.

When I got him home it was amazing. He just wouldn't stop smiling and cooing. His whole personality seemed to have blossomed. I have mentioned it before but I truly believe that it is through illness (especially with children) that we strengthen our souls resolve and grow spiritually. I have been a witness of it with Sophia and now especially with Caleb. Each time either one has been challenged with an illness they have come out on the other side with a maturity and peacefulness that wasn't there before. It's so obvious with the little ones because each change at this age is so obviously profound.

Anyway, we are home, doing well (except for my having some roaring allergies), and Todd's brother Ben is here for a visit. He will be here until next Mon and his folks will come in this Thurs night so it will be wonderful to have everyone here together for a few days. Sophia took to Ben like crazy. He is definitely her new boyfriend! I'm pretty sure they both wore each other out yesterday as they both totally crashed out last night! I remember being young and having my aunt or uncle come over and having it all about play, play, play.

I will post some pictures today or tomorrow so you can see all the fun for yourself.

NICU still

2009-03-17T20:23:00.004-06:00

Still here. At this point we are all VERY ready to go home. Unfortunately we have to wait until the full dosing of IV antibiotics have been given, probably tomorrow afternoon. We still don't have any answers as to what sort of viral infection Caleb may have. We did decide to forego the chest x-rays since it really wasn't going to change our course of action at all. So viral pneumonia is still a possibility since his O2 sats are still low. Usually one would expect your sats to be at their highest while you are resting and sleeping since that is when you are most at rest and breathing deeply. With Caleb, that is when his are the lowest. It doesn't make any sense. We have tried taking him off the O2 but his sats drop pretty rapidly so we have to put it back on. The nurse mentioned we may need to have him on home O2 but at this point it is too premature to make that decision. Honestly I feel that he would do much better if we could just get him home and away from all this. He has so many cords and wires attached to him it's hard to pick him up, hold him, and nurse him. Earlier today I was trying to nurse him and his IV line got caught on something and before I knew it the IV was pulled out of his hand and he was bleeding all over the place. His poor little face was covered in blood. The worse part was that we had to stick him again to put another one in. You can tell he is so DONE with all this. His eyes are all puffy and it looks like he is starting to get two black eyes. Why? I don't know. I'm just so sick of all this. Part of me feels like we are putting him through all this for nothing since we aren't getting many answers. Two good things: his fever is pretty much gone and his heart rate has normalized so that is wonderful. He is still pretty cranky but hey, I don't blame him.

Here is Caleb currently.

Todd sitting in the chair that we both have become way too familiar with over the last two months.

We did have time to watch a DVD on the computer while Caleb was sleeping. We watched "W.". Wow! What more can I say. I wasn't sure whether to cry or laugh. Pretty appauling actually. Definitely worth a watch.

That's pretty much all for now. Hopefully everything continues on the up and up and we are out of here tomorrow. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and wonderful words of support and encouragement.

NICU again!

2009-03-16T21:54:00.002-06:00

Yes, here we are, back in the NICU at Mercy Regional Hospital. Basically, at the pediatricians, the doctor thought that we may be dealing with meningitis! So off to the hospital we went. Thank goodness my dad came with me due to the fact that Todd had a presentation today at work that he had to be there for. I was grateful for dad's support. In the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) Caleb had to undergo a spinal tap, urinary catheter, numerous blood draws, and an IV catheter. It was horrible. I don't know how else to describe it. Luckily the meningitis tests came back negative. We are still waiting for a blood culture to come back but so far everything is pointing to some sort of viral infection going on. He also developed a full body rash this morning which also points to a viral "something". His temp as come down and currently he only has a low grade fever which at least should offer some relief to his aching body. His oxygen saturation did drop late this afternoon and his heart rate became elevated again so now the doctor is thinking that maybe he is dealing with a viral pneumonia, left over from his RSV. We would have to do more x-rays to diagnose that and he has already had so much radiation that I'm holding off on that for now. Since we started him on IV antibiotics this afternoon our current course of action would not be any different if he did have the pneumonia. So tonight we are monitoring him and we will see how he is tomorrow. If his O2 sats are still low we need to look more seriously at doing an x-ray to see if he should need to stay on the IV antibiotics longer than the current plan of 48 hours.

Basically we don't have a lot of answers yet. I'm pretty frustrated to say the least. Todd got here tonight around 8:00 and we are staying in the Manor Room next to the NICU. They tell us this room is free and a perc when you have a child in the NICU. Pretty humorous since the base charge for the NICU for one night is $3000.00! I must say I was half hearted to come back to this room as it is the third time we have been here in the last two months!

Caleb is a rock star! Not much more I can say about him. He is handling all this so well it's amazing. It's just heart wrenching to see him in so much pain and not understand why any of this is happening. I just have to believe there is a bigger plan to all of this.

I will post again tomorrow when we have some definitive information. Off to rest for a bit now.

Sick again

2009-03-16T08:46:00.002-06:00

Caleb is sick again. He has had a fever of 103 since Sat. I have been giving him children's Tylanol because without it he won't nurse, I can't console him, and he is slightly lethargic. With the Tylanol he is only slightly better, although I have been able to keep him from getting dehydrated. His pediatricians recommended on Sat night that I bring him to the ER which, after all he has been through, was not the course of action I was ready to take. I will be bringing him to see his pediatrician today at 11:30 and I guess we'll just go from there. Please pray and I will update later this afternoon.

Smiles!

2009-03-11T14:04:00.004-06:00

The snow is melting rapidly (not that I'm complaining) and the mud is out and seeping into into every crack and crevice available (now I am complaining)! Many of the locals sometimes refer to Pagosa's seasons as summer, fall, winter, and mud season, and with good reason! But I am sincerely grateful for the warmer weather and look forward to getting out more. In the past, getting out in the winter was just as easy as getting out in the summer, but with children, well, winter brings it's challenges. We have been having an extremely warm spell that is very unusual for this time of the year. The temps have been up in the 50s and people have been in shorts and t-shirts! The last couple of days it got back down into the 20s and 30s again and snow is in the forecast for the rest of the week but spring is still very much in the air. We even have our resident doves back in our trees and Todd spied a robin the other day!

Caleb is doing so much better. He is completely over his RSV now and seems to actually be enjoying himself on occasion now. Still cries much of the time but it's different now. Much less crying for one, and two, he just seems more peaceful. Where he used to just scream every time I touched him, now I can actually tickle him and make him laugh! His personality is really starting to come through. I am so grateful that things are on the up and up. I am still administering the same medications (including the homoepaths) and am still restricting my diet but am hoping to start incorporating some different foods back into the picture sooner than later.

We still have no idea who he takes after. He definitely has his own original look. My dad says he has McManus hands (my dad's mother Dora Dean Kahl's maiden name; Scotts/Irish). His hands, and whole body for that matter are large and solid. He is a total chunk, but not with a bunch of baby fat rolls, but solid muscle.

This morining with Nana...

Not sure who is more uncomfortable. Sophia was excited to hold him for about a second!

She has really been into the whole nursing and pumping thing. It's fun to see her want to share in and be a part of everything.

First pics of Caleb smiling! I love these! Thanks Jeanine for making him this shirt, it's classic!

Lent

2009-03-02T20:46:00.003-07:00

Caleb is finally starting to come out of his "funk". No more breathing treatments and not too much coughing or sneezing. He still has some junk in his lungs which you can hear audibly but I have faith that too will start to improve soon. It's so nice to see him not crying constantly. Todd and I were both able to get him to smile yesterday and today! Wow, such an improvement. Sophia has been so patient with him through all of this. I'm so proud of her. I do think much of the original issue was (and still is) due to something in my diet that is an allergen to him. That and some gastric reflux thrown in there as well. Currently I am continuing with the homeopathics, acidophilus, and Pepcid (a medication for gastric reflux). But the biggest thing I am doing is continuing to seriously restrict my diet. I DO think that is helping and I want nothing more to be able to continue to breastfeed. There have been many, many people who have encouraged me to switch him to an allergy free formula (is there really such a thing?) to give him some relief. I completely understand the concern but for now I choose to continue to nurse and try to figure out what works diet-wise instead. I believe the benefits of breastfeeding are vital to his overall well-being, mental and emotional stability, and definitely his nutritional stability as well. We all want to do the best we can for our children and loved ones and everyone needs to, and should, make decisions based on what they believe is right, and this is what I believe is right for Caleb. This isn't to say nothing will change, life is so dynamic and we have to be able to acclimatize to all it's fluctuations. All I truly know is that for today, this is what I'm doing and it feels right. I just wanted to put out there where I am coming from on some of the decisions I am making.

These last couple of days have been devastating for some friends of ours. I contemplated even mentioning this but I have been so "all consumed" with it that I wanted to briefly share what has happened. Our next door neighbor, John Kneipple, committed suicide on Saturday night. His wife, Lima, and I have become pretty good friends since we moved into our house. Partly because our children are the same age and we both birthed our children at home, partly because she is also affiliated with the local Waldorf community, and partly because we just seemed to connect from the get go. Todd and I witnessed the ambulance and police come, and as soon as Lima left with the police I called her and went and met her, and basically spent the rest of the night and all Sunday with her. Today was spent helping with logistical issues from home. I am completely heartbroken for her and the children. No-one should ever have to go through this in a million lifetimes. Being with her during such a vulnerable time as brought me to my knees around my own vulnerability and that of my own family. Even with my profession, which allows me to be immersed and at the center of the fragility of life, I never cease to be amazed at how I keep needing to be reminded of my own mortality, and how all this can be gone in one second. It makes me love my family in a fierce way, and makes me hold onto my children so tight. This has been, yet again, another reality check for me. What am I giving up for lent? I'm giving up fear. Fear of being and showing ME.

Please pray for Lima, Shayla, and Cyrus.

Holding My Breath

2009-02-27T14:58:00.004-07:00

Caleb seems to be doing just a touch better. I't hard not to hold my breath though as it seems as soon as I say that something else hits the fan. I am glad we did not admit him into the hospital 2 days ago though as he is totally managable at home. His lungs definitely have a small amount of fluid and mucus in them and his O2 saturation is still lower than I would like to see it but over all his deminor is more stable and solid than I have seen in a while. His cough is also still pretty bad but his nose isn't near as stuffed up. He is such a trooper, I am so proud of him. Sophia and myself are also definitely on the mend. Thank God!! Here is what I got to wake up to this morning. How can you NOT fall in love?

Here is my little diva queen... (Thanks for the adorable outfit Barbara)

She was so excited to hold him today, he's not sure he feels the same! I can't believe how big and muscular he is getting, even through all this turmoil.

Even so, Cooper is still bigger. Any guesses on how much Cooper weighs? I haven't put him on the scale in a while so I have no idea. Caleb is 12 1/2 pounds here and he seems dwarfed by the cat! Cooper was quite curious about the whole breathing treatment thing. It does make a funny loud sound.

La la la, off to nap!

RSV?! Mastitis?! Seriously!

2009-02-25T19:59:00.005-07:00

Yup, believe it or not, Caleb now has RSV (respiratory syncytial virus). As it turns out, Sophia, myself, and my mom have all had it but with us it just seems to be a nasty cold. Caleb started with a cold 5 days ago, which progressed rapidly to a seriously productive cough. Poor guy. He doesn't have the diaphragm or lung strength to cough up all the gunk so it just sits in there getting thicker and thicker. Many children are hospitalized with RSV and today the doctor said that if his oxygen saturation starts to drop at all we will need to hospitalize him as well. So, I have to run over to EMS a couple times (at least) each day to check his saturation levels, as well as giving him nebulized (breathing treatments) medication 4 times each day. Right now his cough is so bad it just breaks my heart. He is having a hard time nursing and breathing. I am having to pump my milk to make sure my milk supply doesn't diminish since he is eating so much less. I know he has lost some weight but today he still weighed in at 12 lb, 3 oz, so he is still my little sumo man! Thank God he isn't loosing weight, I don't think I could handle that on top of everything else!

I also came down with Mastitis (inflammation of the mammary glands in the breast) myself on Sat! I have never been so sick in my whole life! I did some research on-line and apparently it's pretty normal to feel like you are dying! Horrible flu-like symptoms, fever, red-streaking and seriously painful breast. Unfortunately you must take antibiotics or it can progress pretty rapidly to a breast abscess and other unfortunate stuff. Luckily the pediatricians called me in an Rx that day and I was able to start treating it immediately. After a couple of days I was just back to my good old RSV cold. Blah blah blah.

Please send good thoughts our way. I'll be updating fairly regularly now to keep everyone abreast of the latest since things seem to be happening so fast.

My aunt Barbara visited last week from Ca. It was so good to see her and the time seemed to go by so fast. I do believe she would have worn a HEPA filter breathing mask if she had one due to all the vavas and nasties that we were all floating her way from our coughing and sneezing. I think she drank an Emergency an hour while she was here. You can kinda see how sick Sophia looks. Her left cheek was totally chapped due to all the snot she kept wiping there!

Caleb being his usual self...

I had to put this picture in. My two cousins from Ca, Melissa and Jean (Barbara's girls) have got to be two of the most talented handicrafters on this planet. While Barbara was here we received a surprise package in the mail with all these hand made clothes and stuffed animals in it. We love the clothes! And Sophia especially loves her new elephant and seal!

No matter how Sophia is feeling she still manages to do this... to her room at least a few times each day! Note all the spectators sitting on their assigned seats!

Sooooo cute...

He is loosing most of the hair on the top of his head now.

I caught Sophia nursing her teddy here. She was using the Bobby and everything!

First few weeks

2009-02-08T17:37:00.008-07:00

What can I say, it's been rough. I can't believe Caleb is already 3 weeks old (as of Friday). It has gone by so fast I can't believe it! So much of this time has been spent in hospital and the doctor's office. Isn't this supposed to be our "babymoon" time? I'm trying to keep my spirits up and frankly I think I'm doing pretty good, I mean, Todd and I are really supporting each other, Sophia is doing great with all the baby crying, and it's finally snowing enough to cover up all this Pagosa mud. Don't get me wrong, I am immensely grateful for every day, it just seems like the days are going by sooo fast and they are basically full of crying. Pretty much from all of us although mostly from Caleb. I never could have imagined before I had children how absolutely heart wrenching it is to have your child be in pain and not be able to do anything about it. Honestly I can deal with all the crying, the lack of sleep, and hospital, etc, if only Caleb wasn't in pain. That's the part that kills me the most. We have been so blessed with Sophia and her incredibly strong immune system. She also had such a peaceful and easy first few months, actually she has been pretty easy all along. I just assumed it would be the same with Caleb. It is so clear to me now that we all have our own path to walk and our own challenges to work through.

Basically we took Caleb in to see the doctor at 5 days old because he just cried constantly. I kept thinking he seemed to be in pain, either that or he was just incredibly hungry (he was and is still a ravenous eater). I had been nursing him constantly trying to sooth him which later turned out to be adding to the problem since it turned out I was nursing him too much and it was causing him to have tons of gas and belly aches. (Turns out I was producing enough for 2-3 babies!) They said everything was fine at the doctor but his demeanor was still the same, so over the next few days we had multiple chiropractic adjustments and cranial sacral treatments done. He seemed to relax during the treatments but in the big picture didn't get any better. We ended up taking him back to the doctor and from that point on we seemed to be caught up in a medical intervention nightmare. You all know how conservative I am with main stream medicine so it was really hard to make the decision to go ahead with all the invasive procedures. Honestly I was so confused. I absolutely didn't want to do any if it but what if something was really wrong and it got missed because I withheld from everything instead? The bottom line was that I didn't want him to be in pain or have something seriously wrong so we went ahead with all the recommendations (at least for the most part) and admitted him into neonatal intensive care unit at the hospital. The doctors initially thought that something may be wrong with his heart, and then his brain, and then his thyroid, and then his gastrointestinal track, and then his metabolic system. We did multiple EKGs, multiple chest and abdominal x-rays, tons and tons of blood work (even repeating it), a cat scan, an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart), fasted him orally for 3 days while administering IV nutrition to check for breast milk allergies, and we even tested him for anal stenosis by the doctor having to stick his finger all the way up his butt. None of it showed anything. Well, I guess I shouldn't say that because at least everything was normal which was very good news. Meanwhile Caleb was exhausted and I'm sure traumatized from everything. I know I was. We finally decided to take him home and just love and comfort him a lot. I have also restricted my diet by cutting out all soy and dairy products as well as quite a few more food items that showed up to be allergens to Caleb according to some tests that my aunt Kim in Florida ran on his saliva. She has been really helpful in supporting me with my diet and trying to get to the bottom of all this. The only thing that the doctors were able to diagnose was that he had and has tons of gas and it is causing him a lot of pain. I have prescriptions presently for gastric reflux, general colic as an anti-spasmodic, and a formula that has to be ordered because it is so broken down and elemental that supposedly no-one can have a reaction to it. The next thing that the doctors would like to do is a barium contrast study enema to test for a rare disease called Herschsprung's Disease, and then to do an abdominal MRI to rule out an adrenal tumor (due to the fact that his heart rate and respirations have been pretty elevated since the beginning of all this, and he had a period of low O2 saturation when he was on the cardiac monitor, and he was sweating profusely while he slept). Needless to say I haven't filled any of the prescriptions yet as I would like to see if the diet and homeopathic meds that Kim sent us will work. I am also waiting on a few more homeopathic meds to come in the mail that were recommended by my mom's friend in Hawaii. I just feel like Caleb needs a break from all the invasive stuff for now. And I really want to just tune into my own intuition right now. I am so grateful for all the suggestions and all the advice but I feel like I have been running in so many different directions that I can hardly see my own path anymore. How is he doing after all this? Well, he has slept better hear and there (although today has been pretty tough as he has cried all day and not slept at all) and the days he takes naps he seems to be doing just a touch better. So that is where we stand for now.

Most of these pics were taken during rare times where there was no crying. Definitely cherished moments.

Our first outing as a family, day 5 when we went to the doctor for the first time.

Sophia sure loves her little bro.

He was pretty cross-eyed at first but only every once in a while now.

This one's for you great grandma Henrichs. Todd's hooked!

This is what most of our time looks like.

Which leads to a tired momma and baby.

The loves of my life...

At least he is gaining weight. Look at those cheeks! And only three weeks old.

Sophia became pretty sick while we were at the hospital. This is her the day after we came home. Sooooo sad.

But she was back on her feet in no time and showing me how she could swim and kick her feet.

Here we are at the hospital. Also soooooo sad to see him like that.

Home at last.

Thanks to everyone for all your support through this rough time. Special thanks to mom, you have been great!

Caleb Gabriel Orion Osmera

2009-01-18T10:23:00.007-07:00

Welcome Welcome Welcome our new little bundle of joy, Caleb Gabriel Orion Osmera, born at home on Friday the 16th at 8:45 a.m., weighing in at 7 lbs 15 oz, and measuring 20 inches long. Born on my uncle "Jamazing" J's birthday and little Korban Macht's birthday. A wonderful day if I do say so myself.

Labor started at 7:30 on Thursday night and it's pretty cool because we were snapping the following pics not knowing what was about to transpire. I had been having so many contractions over the last couple of weeks I figured I was just having a few more. I figured wrong!

Isn't it amazing what our bodies are capable of? Sophia actually captured this sweet moment all by herself.

The whole experience was perfect, awe inspiring, and life changing. I was so blessed to be able to labor and birth exactly as I had envisioned. I delivered Caleb in the birthing tub which we had set up for a water birth, and I actually delivered him myself, and pulled him straight up into my arms. He was so aware and present with the whole experience as well, and completely strong and healthy. Both Todd and I knew he was a boy before we even looked. Not only did he look like a boy, but he looked like a "Caleb" too. Caleb wasn't one of the names we were thinking of but it was so clear to me that that was his name. This little guy has had such a large and powerful "beingness" since the very beginning, it only makes sense that his name reflect that. For those of you who don't know, Gabriel Orion was my brother's name. He also held a very strong presence throughout my entire pregnancy, and especially during the labor.

Just a few minutes after he was born.

Two of the most amazing and incredible women on the planet. Carole on the left and Joy on the right.

A couple of hours later when Sophia came home.

More pics to come soon. This is just the beginning!

Not yet!!!

2009-01-08T19:31:00.005-07:00

No baby yet, just thought I would let you all know. I guess since my actual "due date" is not until the 10th I shouldn't be too concerned, although I feel like I am carrying the planet Mars around in my abdomen! I was really convinced this baby was coming early too. This just goes to show this little kiddo is on it's own time schedule. I feel like total crap tonight so maybe that means something... I even called and asked Todd to come home from work early, just didn't feel right. Nothing so far though. We are all definitely thoroughly finished with the waiting game. Here is Sophia saying, "I want to be a big sister, NOW!"

The one good thing about this is that we still have no idea on baby names. Todd caught me perusing the name book a couple of nights ago. This is pretty much how I look on any given night now. The feel of ANY fabric on my skin, especially my belly, is just plain cumbersome and annoying.

Even Sophia thought she would take her hand at catching Momma in the moment.

Luckily Todd has the energy of Superman these days (taking care of his two girls can be high maintenance as I'm sure you can guess) as he still finds time to entertain his hobby of making things. Sophia isn't sure about her new sled though.

Anyway, just filling you in on the last couple of days. You'll be hearing from me soon.